Building a Wall

Sets 20-21 (of 365)

S. Vs. Stuart at Northwest Park. Winner: Stuart 6-4, 7-5
Ladder Match #4

My Mojo: Average to Above-Average; Greatly Improved Toward the End.

It was another really windy day. I didn't know if I would get to play today or if I would have to cancel because I was up most of the night with a family crisis. Luckily, it got resolved in time for me to get a little sleep and make it to the match.

For the first part of the match, I felt like I was not getting my bearings. I was misjudging the wind a lot and hitting poorly. My serves were not great but were adequate; I can't complain too much about them, because most of them got in. However, I was not getting much of an advantage through serving. I could not get to the net very much. I squeaked out a win in the first set, which was miraculous to me. My opponent was getting to net more and playing very well there. He also hit some good angles and a few winners.

During the second set, my malaise seemed to increase. I started getting angry at myself, and muttering at myself under my breath, which I hardly ever do. My mental state was not there and I could not get focused. I'm usually pretty serene, even in losing, though I do occasionally get perturbed. Next thing I knew I was down 5-1.

But a strange thing happened at that point. I suddenly got calm as if clouds had opened up to let the sun through. My anger congealed into quiet determination. I visualized a wall that suddenly came up; my visualization was that up until then I had only created obstacles; that is, hurdles for my opponent to jump over. But now a wall was there, and he would have to do some serious climbing if he was going to make it over the wall. I had this complete and recklessly stupid feeling (which was utterly unsupported by reality) that I was going to win this set. All I had to do was what my opponent had done and win several games in a row. No big deal.

Unbelievably, it happened. Every point, I thought about the wall. I never lost the sense of complete calm and serenity that had swept over me. Now the wind seemed to be working to my advantage rather than against me. When I lost points, for some reason, it was not inconsistent with the wall and it didn't shake me. When I got to 4-5 I knew my opponent was in trouble. I have always thought that when a player mounts an incredible comeback and gets to the point when he is only one game behind, he has a psychological advantage, even though he is down a game. I ended up winning six games in a row to take the match 7-5.

My opponent fought a really tough fight. He got to stuff that I never thought he would get to, and slammed most of it back with precision. He told me that he thought I had reached balls that he wouldn't think I would get too. We both had a lot of hustle this match. This was definitely the toughest match that I have played on the ladder so far.