A Bad State Of Mind

Sets 156-159 (of 365):

Stuart vs. S. at His Apartments. Winner: S. 6-4, 6-2, 6-0, 6-2.

My Mojo: Hindered By Poor Mental State, Improved Slightly Toward The End.

I never felt at any time like I was playing anywhere near the level that I should be playing. My opponent was also playing pretty strongly so it was hard to break in and this sapped my confidence. In the first set, I was doing all right at first. I kept pace with my opponent for a while, but then he pulled ahead toward the end. That was the best I did all night. In the second set, everything stopped working for me, and I lost a lot of confidence. It was incredible that I won two games because I was playing very poorly though I do have to give my opponent credit as this was probably his strongest set and he got some really good shots and strategy in play. By the end of the second set, my mental state had really deteriorated.

S. asked me if I wanted to play another set, and I thought to myself that I was not in much of a good frame of mind to play, but I was not physically tired. Also, I figured that I needed experience in trying to lift myself out of an extreme funk. So I played a third set. This was my worst set yet as everything seemed to do the opposite of what worked in almost every point. Whole games went by in which I didn't score any points and I had nothing to accomplish or offer. My mental state got even worse throughout this set. At one point during the fifth game, I had an impulse to throw my racquet over the fence into the lake next to the court. I'm glad I didn't do that. However, after I flubbed the next point, I did kind of drop my racquet in disgust. I never did pull my mental state together for any of the third set.

Still, I was not physically tired, and I felt able to play another set no problem. So we played a fourth set, this time at my urging. My mental state did improve a little. I got my feet to move a little better, and I calmed down some. During this set, I never did get an advantage, but it did not affect my mood much. I had decided to just play and realize that the outcome really didn't matter much. So I concentrated more on the shots and my movements rather than making a black cloud appear over my head. It worked to a point, but I was still not playing fantastically. S. asked if I wanted to play another set and I declined. I was physically able, but my mental state was at the point that I could not summon it up for a fifth set and I felt I would gain very little from playing again. This match (or two matches, since it was four sets) was definitely a low point for the week and I would anticipate coming up somewhat from this, hopefully. I am still in a slump, though, definitely.